I've got a problem I need to bitch about [v6]

Ugh not only do I get to try and scrub that horribleness out of my head, but discord is broke too on my laptop. Got a repeating error that crashes it, but the launcher immediately tries to restart it.

Wait, what horribleness?

Also, is it a "JavaScript error" by any chance? Because I'm getting it as well when I try to load it up this morning...

You do not want to know the things I saw. For they are so terrible, I struggled trying to sleep and it took a busy day of work to dull the memories enough that wasn't gagging every time I remembered.


On a second note, momo burned up her wifi... That's gonna put a damper on our relationship

Truthseeker4449 wrote:On a second note, momo burned up her wifi... That's gonna put a damper on our relationship

Whoa whoa whoa! Who's momo, and what's the name of this ship?

Lack of sleep and a back that isn't working right now are a couple problems I've got right now...

...why is it so goddamn hard to simply find at least one friend who wants to play a game with me? Am I doing something wrong? Do I not play the right games? Am I just too loud or annoying to play games with? Why does everyone either conveniently have something else to do or just flat out ignore me when I ask around???

AAAAAUGH!!!

Okay, there, needed some place to scream....

Just....so....fucking.....sick of everything in my life....

3 years of dealing with my grandmother who clearly will never recover and I'm just helplessly watching and waiting for the day that she eventually does die....

3 years of almost never leaving my room except for those rare moments I can go to the store or when I rarely feel up to leaving my room when it's not just to help my grandma with something...

3 years of not having any income of my own, while I watch as our debt slowly piles up higher and higher because something else breaks in our house that's feels like it's eventually going to crumble to dust with how shit it's become...

3+ years of feeling like I've completely lost who or what I am and with no clue on what to do or where to go, especially when the inevitable time comes when I'm on my own...

3+ years of doing next to nothing with myself with some exceptions that quickly get buried under all the crap I pile upon myself.

3+ years of just sitting in front of a computer screen doing nothing productive except maybe once in a rare moment when I'm not addicted to spending hours wasting my time on a free to play/gacha/live service/online multiplayer/endless game with no point to it other than grind it out and/or try to win over and over and over again in an endless spiral of pain and suffering...

3+ years of just feeling like I don't belong...anywhere... Feeling like I'm just useless...a waste of life...

FUCK!! I'm so sick of everything in my life feeling like it has to just be SHIT!

Can't eat without feeling awful afterwards in some way 90% of the time.
Can't sleep without tossing and turning for hours and/or my grandma waking me up in the middle of the night, often multiple times.
Can't help my grandma with her problems 90% of the time because I'm either powerless to help her or can't figure out what she needs because of how bad she gets some days.
Can't leave the house except for rare occasions to go to the store, if I even feel like leaving the house anymore with how used to being stuck in my room I've become.
Can't get good internet because of where I live and what we have is just getting worse and worse every day.
Can't help out financially anymore because I can't leave the house to find work, can't work online because of the shitty internet, and can't apply for any government programs/benefits for multiple reasons, most of which involve my grandma.
Can't seem to stop doing nothing but wasting my time every day on stupid shit that gets nothing done, like gacha/live service/multiplayer games, or random Youtube/wiki binges, or porn/hentai.
Can't do anything productive or just anything from my massive backlog for some fucking reason without reluctantly forcing myself to start it due to the lack of motivation I have, even though most of what I want to do that's productive or on my backlog is stuff I enjoy or want to do.
Can't seem to do anything without sucking at it, even stuff I enjoy.
Can't enjoy anything with how overwhelmed by stress and shit I am anymore.
Can't figure out what I am or what I'm supposed to do or where I'm supposed to go from here.
Can't even say I have any faith in god anymore because of how fucked up life is.
Can't stand myself or my family most of the time.



...I'm just so sick of everything.

Going out of my mind....I just want to beat my brains out and get it over with!

Hey, it's me again, your favorite broken record repeating the same crap he always complains about in here and everywhere else because he's always depressed and frustrated over the same things and never changes...

...so many things I want to change or wish I could change, like my grandma back to when she was healthier, or my home so it's not just a dump out in the middle of nowhere...

...and of course myself and all the problems I have...feeling useless and worthless, never getting the motivation to do anything productive and instead wasting more time like this...

...hell, even just changing the voices in my head to something more positive besides them screaming at me about how stupid I am or how I'll never fit in anywhere...

...seriously tired of trying to fit in with literally anyone and just constantly feeling like the outsider, or the dumbest person in the group, or the most annoying, the most awkward, the most useless, the one that just seems to get pity points when they beg enough for attention, the one nobody wants around, the one everyone wishes would shut up and leave...

ANNOYING! WEAK! PATHETIC! WORTHLESS! UESLESS! LAZY! UNPRODUCTIVE! TEMPERMENTAL! STUPID! RUDE! UGLY! DISGUSTING! HORNY! SO FUCKING SICK OF BEING ALL THIS ALL THE TIME AND JUST DOING NOTHING TO FIX ANY OF IT!!!