Pit Stop News Desk

jokool is right, by some miracle everyone could have survived (it has happened before) and the media is jumping the gun, as usual.

Also one of the likely probable causes of the crash doesn't sit right with me, because it's a known issue that should have been fixed long ago: the Fuel Oil Heat Exchanger.

As of right now, 2 people are dead and 182 are hospitalized. Given how the aircraft had 317 people on board and how violent the crash apparently was, that's a miraculously low death toll.

I can't wait for the Air Crash Investigation episode that will undoubtedly come out sometime in the next few years.

This month is just not a good one for transportation period. There's been at least 2 major train derailments, 1 major aviation accident, and 1 minor aviation incident (another 787 caught fire today) and that's just in the past 7 days.

I am now the self-proclaimed News Author for the Planetary Pit Stop.

"A 3rd passenger from that Boeing 777 crash earlier this week has died in hospital from their injuries. Around 16 more passengers are still hospitalized. The NTSB has shifted the focus of their investigation to the pilots after determining that mechanical failure is not a likely cause of the crash.

In more local news, jokool has been blowing shit up."



Cuts to a video of jokool first blowing up a porta potty and then blowing up a huge, steaming pile of poop. The surrounding area and jokool is covered in poo by the explosion.


"I heavily recommend you guys buy a lot of air freshener. This has been Truthseeker4449 with your irregular news update."

A random ship anchor falls behind me to start the latest broadcast.

"Remember what I said about this not being a good month for transportation? Well the latest train derailment, which occurred yesterday in France, has killed 6 and injured 22. It is believed a part of a switch came off and derailed the train. While this is certainly a very tragic thing to happen just before a major holiday, the driver of the train is being praised for his quick reaction in alerting other trains to the danger."

"The latest accident was a devastating crash in Moscow, that's in that very cold place we call Russia and I don't mean Soviet Russia, between a bus carrying children and a dump truck carrying gravel. The crash killed 18 and the bus was torn in half by the force of the impact."

A door off screen slams open and the camera man swings the camera around as a Golgotha walks in.

"This just in, the Pit Stop is being overrun by shit demons, likely created by jokool's recent explosive and stinky activities. Unfortunately I do not have any air freshener on me, so I'll have to use this."

I pick up the massive anchor from earlier and throw it at the shit demon. The anchor smashes into both the shit demon and the wall behind it.

"We will try to keep you up to date as we deal with the situation. MIKU, GET THAT CANISTER OF AIR FRESHENER!"

I'm not entirely sure that the non-serious second part of the broadcast fits with the first.

I'm doing that on purpose to balance the depressing nature of the news. Also the Rule of Funny is being applied here.

The shit demon starts getting up.

"Get me another anchor!"

Has anyone seen the video of the news station prank?

"Please do share it while I destroy this demon"

Miku has finally arrived with air freshener in the form of a fire extinguisher.

Spoiler:

Apparently, this 'confirmed information' was the result of a summer intern at the NTSB...

I only get the third pilot's name.

I'll let the others see it first, then post what they mean.

I didn't see it at first either, but I figured that there was something screwed up about the last one.

I think I know what you guys are talking about.


*kills the demon*