Retro Trip Down Hoenn's Memory Lane

Thankfully I didn't get gang raped and so we go back to beating up the locals. Up next, a bug catcher who claims you become popular if you take bugs to school.

He uses Nincadas, which don't do that well against a Mudkip. And he's also the last trainer I can battle.



This is the edge of the woods, there are trees blocking off an area of the woods. Because I can't jump over them, I have to get the HM Cut.


Aww, this nice young man gave me the TM09 Bullet Seed. And I'll be taking his berries.

Going into the flower shop just north of there, I get the wailmer pail. Something that means nothing to me at this point. Another girl in the shop gives me something that will come in handly later, a Leppa berry. I'll need this during the last part of the story.


Umm, it's your challenge because you looked at me first. Money? Then I'll mop the floor with you.

*pockets your money and moves on to my next victim*
*is listening to the Champion theme while playing this section*


My first double battle. And it was over in less than two minutes. They didn't even hurt my Pokemon. Lame.

Now I'm battling one of those so-called experts. His first Pokemon? Magikarp. Second? Magikarp. Third? Magikarp. He's even more pathetic than those twins.


Well, I've made it to Rustboro City. And It's also time for me to go to school, so I'll end this part here. Next time, the city of rust!

Now off to explore the city of rust!

My exploration yielded an X-Defend, a Premier Ball, a Quick Claw, and HM01 Cut. That old man was nice, that teacher not so much.


NUUUU, you can't have my Ralts you asshole! >:O


Hey, it's that prevert from yesterday :O

And finishes the exploring. Now I need to grind to level 15

Oh, it's a simple maze. LAME.

When did I say was taking you lightly? And are you perhaps underestimating me?

I thought so. Now give me your money and scram.


Defeating all the Gym Trainers has caused my Poochyena to level up. I'll rotate to Ralts and hope I'll be able to defeat Roxxanne with just him.

I gave up trying to record the battle....

Ralts took quite a bit of damage so Mudkip took over after that first Geodude. That Nosepass was a pain in the ass, ain't no butts about it. For my trouble, Mudkip evolved. Now Marshtomp looks a little too damn ugly to be using growl, so I replace it with something more fitting, Mud Shot. Because cool guys throw mud, not growl like girls. Why do they call it growl and how do you growl cutely? Makes no sense to me.

Of course I can't even get back to the Pokemon Center to care for my Pokemon before I'm being dragged off to something.


And you're that preverted mushroom guy! Fine, I'll help you, not that I have a choice to begin with.


There are cuttable trees in this area, however none of my Pokemon can learn cut. So I have to catch one that can.

*stumbles upon an Abra while looking for a Nincada*

Wow, I didn't know that those were here. I have no interest in an Abra, especially since I can't get it to reach its full potential.

Searching for a Nincada took too long and searching for a Zigzagoon took even longer, until I returned to route 101. Lucky for me, Ralts learned teleport while I was back over near Rustoboro, so I don't waste anymore time getting back.

After defeating Karen, my team is now Level 16.


Oh no! Not your Peeko! I shall rescue it at all co- wait a minute. Peeko?

*goes inside the tunnel to confront the grunt and the perverted bird*

"What, are you coming? Come and get some, then!"

Then why did you step back?

*crushes him*

So I return the goods. He gives me another Great Ball, which doesn't really cover for my services. Then he takes me to his boss and also asks that I deliever the goods to Slateport for him. His boss better have something good for me.


Wow, he's gives me another task. Asshole.

*he gives me a PokeNav*

That'll cover my services nicely.

One of the workers upgrades it with a Match Call once I exit the building. This is the only way to get rematches in the Game. I'll head back out to the tunnel to get people regisitered before heading back south to see that old man.


What do you want *grumpy look*

*grumpily registers him in my PokeNav*
*he then asks if I want to battle him*
*I grumpily accept*

"I won't go easy on you"

*gets completely serious, gains a level in the badass department, and mops the floor with his ass*


I'm probably going to regret asking this preverted sailing duo for a ride...


Um... I won't ask why you're chasing Peeko.


*my PokeNav rings and the boat jerks to a halt*
*caller ID says Dad*
*all he says is basically be safe*

....Fuck you.

*the boat jerks forward as the call finishes*

dammit....


*we arrive in Dewford Town and I stagger off the boat to go throw up in the Pokemon Center*

So after puking my guts out all night, I'm well enough to continue. However, there won't be much happen at the moment, seeing how I have to grind before I can challenge the next gym.


His Pokemon are at Level 19, mine are rolling over onto Level 17. So I'm going to head north to the cave on the other end of the Island to grind to Level 20. Cut won't be needed on this island so I'm going to ditch my Zigzagoon here.


This man was nice enough to give me a fishing rod, sadly it's an old one. This piece of crap can only catch other pieces of crap. I'd rather fish with Miku tied to a beam.

While I'm here thinking about revenge, I'm also teaching the locals that Magikarp Forever is the trendiest thing in town.

After getting out of town, I make it to the cave.


So? I like the dark.\

*he gives me the H05 anyway*

Of all the HMs, Flash is my least favorite because it's almost useless in battle and only has the effect of making it easier to see.

Ralts is able to learn flash (in the original Ranger, Kirla makes flashes to help evade capture), but I right now I lack the badge to use the HM. I won't need it for the first floor.

I head down to the second floor, where I catch what I came here for, an Aron. I will grind it to level 17.