Retro Trip Down Hoenn's Memory Lane

You know the drill, listen to boring speech, pick your gender, then your name. Miku gave me a shot of estrogen this morning against my will, so I will be picking the female player character and taking the name of May, because I want winter to be over.


Moving trucks, because my parents couldn't afford for me to ride in the front. Instead I'm stuck riding in the back of the truck with all the boxes that want to crush me every time the truck turns or stops :I


Nice single bedroom house. Where do my parents sleep again? I wonder if the clock will actually work because that feature never worked for me in my real game, likely because the cartirage was secondhand. Before I go back downstairs and on with the story, I retrieve that potion my parents put in the computer.


Why hello Professor Dumbass! I thought you were a Pokemon Professor and would know better than to touch a Zigzagon's ass to see if it was a boy or girl. Of course you won't let me leave, so now I have to save your dumb ass. Now I go into your bag and rob you.


Do you liek Mudkipz? I do! So I'll take yours and a few hundred dollars.


Of course it would a girl you pissed off....

And like most starters, mine is male. I don't normally nickname my Pokemon, and I'm not doing that now.

BTW, the Professer never asked me to return his money.

Now we head North to do the first rival battle, after a bit of grinding.


HELP! I'M BEING ADUCTED BY THIS ASSHOLE! HE'S GOING TO RAPE ME!

*looks around before stabbing the him in the chest and leaving him to die*


We're alone together, you're not going to rape me are you? GET YOUR HANDS OFF ME!!!! Beat me in a battle and then I'll let you touch...

*2 minutes later*

I win, no marshmallows for you :P

Of course your dad has his eye on me, he and every other guy on the planet


I wish you could've seen his face :P


Running Shoes, check.
Mudkip, check.
Stolen Money, check.
Underwear, check.
My so called boyfriend's balls, check.

See ya in the next part, where we start expanding the party and beat up some little kids!

Heading North out of Littleroot Town, it will be a while before I return to use the bathroom. Wait, does my house even have a bathroom? Never mind, it doesn't matter, we have trees.


Route 102! Time to beat up some little kids. Victim #1 is wearing a blue hat.

*a few minutes later*

He didn't last long... but Mudkip leveled up :D

BERRIES :D

Because my game had a dead battery, the clock didn't work and therefore the berries wouldn't grow. if I planted them. For now, I'll be collecting without planting. They should taste good, better than some rapist. *gives the guy next to me a death glare*


Not another one :FUU: I KNOW I'M HOT BUT THIS IS GETTING REDICULUS.

*goes to catch a poochyena so I have it attack guys*
*catches a girl, then heads to the Pokemon Center*


NOO!

*sets the Poochyena loose on him, then walks away as the blood begins to fly*

Now to find one of those little fuckers that Lima likes. *sets watch*

*16 seconds later*


New record O_O

*pushed my luck too far and made it faint*

;-;

*resets watch*
*finds another Ralts 8 and a half minutes later*

I wanted a girl, not a guy.... ;-;

*catches it anyway*

Now this is the part I turn off the camera and grind.

*puts the camera away*