APRIL FOOLS 2016: The Village Pub for Generic NPCs

Welcome, welcome ev'ryone, to th' Village Pub! This is a gathering spot fer all NPCs, all toadies and Toads, to share some news and shoot th' breeze. So if you've got a small piece of dialogue to spit out every time someone presses "A" near you, share it here!

"We nopon developed the advanced art o- AAAAAAAAAHHHHHHH SEA SERPENTS!!!"

usually battle initiates after that :V

"I hear someone is actually burning bunnies around here somewhere. What a crazy world we live in, huh?"

hOI!!!!! i'm tEMMIE!!!!

I approve of the april fools!
I'd like an OBJECTION one added though ;W;

"Damn that guy who runs the antique store! He won't sell me the stuff... You know what he's really selling in there, right?"

What news, novice?

"Hm? Do you need something?"

there is a fatal contradiction in the witness' testimoney, your honor!

"So, what can me ge- AAAAAAHHHH SERPENTS!!!"

"Yo I hear there is a rad potion seller just outside the city.

...

What do you mean "self-promotion"? That would just be cheap!"

Would you leave me alone, please?

HOWWWWWWWWDEEEEEEEE!!! I just realized I never properly introduced myself!

My name's Wonky, and I just know stuff! I may not look like much, but I know a thing or two, you'd better believe it! And who knows? The stuff I know may even be stuff that could help you! So, if you want to ask me a question, just speak up, and ask away!

OBJECTION
there is a contradiction!!!!!
judge: there is?
I thought so at least
judge: I'm afraid without any evidence to back up your claim, I have to penalize you Mr Wright.
ouch...
(I don't think that won me over any points with the judge...)