Greetings! I am Shadow Lief, and I'm bringing Nintendo's latest Nintendo Direct directly to you! Get out your bingo cards - this is going to be a wild ride, I'm sure.

First up is...Mewtwo! And my internet crashing! Lovely, internet, lovely. We all wish that we could be as lazy as you and get away with it. And Lucas is back, coming out of nowhere! That's what the trailer said. He has all of his Brawl specials back. He's coming around June.

Also there's a Fighter Ballot for Smash Bros.! I'm going to vote for a Shin Megami Tensei character. I think they're shunning Cat Mario, though.

More amiibo more fun - more amiibos are being released! Wario will be compatible with Mario Party 10. There'll also be Mewtwo and Lucas amiibos.

There's an amiibo game that lets you play bits of the games they're from. Titles are randomly assigned, i.e. a Mario amiibo can give you Super Metroid. I think he referenced Forrest Gump by comparing it to a box of chocolates.

30 years of (Super) Mario! Shown off with Mario Maker. On Mario Maker, you can use four different artstyles - SMB1's, SMB3's, Super Mario World's, and NSMBU. It'll be released in September.

Bill with upcoming games! Yoshi's Wooly World is adorable. It's really pretty standard. It has two modes - Challenge and Mellow Mode. Classic Mode is standard Yoshi stuff, while Mellow lets you chill and fly.

Also Yoshi amiibo! Better yet, it's not a trophy - it's a plush doll! Wooly World will be available in Fall, same with amiibos.

There's ranked battles in Splatoon. Also a "Battle Dojo" mode - you compete with a GamePad player. Also Inkling amiibos! You get special missions. All three of them are able to be in a pack, but the green squid amiibo won't be available.

You can get DS and N64 Virtual Console games on the Wii U! Among others: Donkey Kong 64! You can get a bunch of titles - sorry, I'm not fast enough, don't hurt me.

Adventures of Pip - a puzzle platformer where you're a pixel that can absorb the powers of his enemy. Octodad - you fumble around as a octopus. Mutant Mudds - hop across dimensions. Don't Starve - don't starve. You get two copies when you buy one.

Other titles include forma.8, Affordable Space Adventures, Starwhal, Never Alone, Ninja Pizza Girl, Antipole DX, Life of Pixel, BADLAND, Slain!, Runbow, Back to Bed, Space Hulk, Race the Sun, DOOORS, Dot Arcade, Swords and Soldiers II, Lionel City Builder, Toto Temple Deluxe, bah my arm's getting tired, Windup Knight 2.

ATLUS Trailer! Got good feelings! Nintendo! Yeah...wait, no, this isn't Shin Megami Tensei x Fire Emblem! Noooooooooooo Wait, apparently there's going to be a trailer according to the Nintendo of America twitter...

Or, wait, what. Apparently that is SMT x FE. I didn't see any Fire Emblem characters...or MegaTen characters...or MegaTen demons.

Hey, new Fatal Frame game! That's...great, I guess.

Box Boy! Manipulate your boxy body and be a ninja box! Yay! Get it tomorrow!

New Pokémon Rumble game! It's free and is, of course, contains Toy Pokémon. You can buy them with money, but you also get them with quests. I love how Pokémon is the test monkey for FTP games.

Puzzle & Dragons Z + Super Mario Puzzle & Dragons is here. You can recruit Bowser's mooks and turn them against them! That's awesome. It is. You can also pre-order it, and SMPD'll get a demo.

Attack on Titan gets a game! Or gets a game in America, I dunno. It's made by ATLUS, so I'd trust it. It gets ~*~sweet camera control~*~ on a *new* Nintendo 3DS. Also there's Attack on Titan anime episodes on the eShop!

English Marth sounds like a dork. And a new update for Attack on Titan to reduce waiting during enemy turns, thank god!

There'll be more games for StreetPass: a fishing one, and a zombie beat-up game. The latter one is in Hobbiville and lets you  get weapons based on hobbies. Also there's premium StreetPass. They're worth $~5.

RPGS! YESSSSSS Oh wait they're talking about Xenoblade Chronicles 3D. For the *new* 3DS. Dammit.

Hey, new Fire Emblem! (Apparently not called Fire Emblem if anymore. That sounded cooler.) Your created character is now the main character! Finally.

Branching paths that remind me of SMT. Also the Dancer chick can't decide which clothes to wear. That or it changes depending on which path you choose. Choosing! Choices! There's also assholes in the chat. FE Not-if will come in 2016.

There's amiibo cards for an Animal Crossing game where you design interiors. You need to scan amiibo cards to use it. Boo. There's also an amiibo scanning thing for the regular 3DS! Finally!

Mario Kart 8 DLC info. Featuring: the Villager! And Isabelle! ...wait, we knew about this. Wait, wasn't this already released. ...I guess not. Huh. Maybe I was drunk. Also it includes Dry Bowser and some ~sweet music~. It'll be released April 23! Yay! Also more racing suits for more amiibos.

Also a 200cc option for MK8. It...looks cool? I guess? It's a free update on April 23.

Aaaaaaaaaaand that's it, though Treehouse is doing Splatoon right now.

EDIT: There's also DLC costumes for Smash Bros., including Proto Man and Mega Man X!