*stumbles through door and collapses onto the floor*

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20161111

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*stumbles through door and collapses onto the floor*




Holy jiminy shit, guys. Was I gone for that long? I hope y'all didn't think I had left for a second time. There's a lot of explaining that I should do, but I won't, because a lot has happened to me in the past month and I don't want to get into it here.

Basically, my depression is getting worse (I was officially diagnosed a week or so ago) and it's causing me to let things slip through my fingers: friendships, school responsibilities, personal care, and my social media presence like here. There was never a day where I didn't think to myself, "I need to catch up at the Pit Stop," but every day I didn't do it, and days turned to weeks, and weeks into a month. I apologize for that, and for my vagueness as to what actually happened to me in the past month. Let's just say that I suffered consequences for being so miserably depressed for no good reason.

I don't know how many of you know what depression feels like, but for my part, here's the deal; I have all the support I could ever ask from friends, family, and authority figures in my life, and yet no matter what they say or do, I always end the day feeling sad, lonely, angry, frustrated, hopeless, or any combination of those things. My friends and family and school authorities are all concerned for me and they go miles out of their way to help me, but it never seems to get through my skull, and so every day for the past I don't even remember has been a muggy, painful slog. I sometimes cry a lot for no reason.

So that's why I haven't been here much, sorry about that.


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Cap'n Jack

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*stumbles through door and collapses onto the floor* :: Comments

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Post on 11th November 2016, 10:41 am by Orcapon

Ouch sounds like your depression is much worse than mine. Hope you start feeling better soon. It's cruddy feeling miserable when you have every reason to smile, like having tons of candy but you can't take off the wrapper

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Post on 11th November 2016, 11:25 am by Greece

I don't think there's anything I can say to make you feel better. I know I don't know how you feel, I know people who are depressed and I can never truly feel what they feel. That's just how it is. I don't believe there's some magical thing I can say to help you. I would have said it by now if it existed.

But I will say this: I love you, and I'm going to put you in my prayers more often. That idea might not mean much, but I know God loves you and that he can help comfort you even if it's just by me saying a prayer for you. I've had you in my prayers before, but I'm going to pray for you every night.

There's not much I can say, but I want the last thing I write in this to be that I love you.

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Post on 11th November 2016, 2:11 pm by Truthseeker4449

I hold no hard feelings.

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Post on 11th November 2016, 7:42 pm by Cap'n Jack

@Hackapon; I'd say it's more like being surrounded by candy, and being perfectly capable of unwrapping it, but not doing it because you're afraid of being alone. Thank you for the well wishes.

@Greece; I love you too, and everything you said has made me feel better this evening. Don't doubt your ability to affect others' feelings.

@Truthseeker4449; None taken. Is that the response to that... ? Ugh.

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Post on 18th November 2016, 10:14 pm by returnofmastercrazyhand

wow, sorry to hear that jack.

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