Random Ramblings: Season 2, Episode 1—This is a Fucking Mess But It's The Best Fucking Mess We've Got

I saw a signature on BMGf talking about rednecks.

Ew, signatures.

TheCapsFan wrote:I saw a signature on BMGf talking about rednecks.

That's the one I copied for my first post, more jokes on the way.

Signatures suck.

Not mine!

Especially yours.

I don't care. I'm a

I just don't care.

jokool wrote:I don't care. I'm a

Fixed.

You might be a redneck if

You believe dual air bags refer to your wife and mother-in-law.
You think the OJ Trial was a Sunkist and Minutemaid taste test.
You think watching professional wrestling is foreplay.
Your grandfather died and left everything to his widow. But she can't touch it until she's fourteen.
You know yer a redneck when you take a load to the dump and bring back more than you took
Your whole family is Democrats 'cept little Mary. She lernt how to read.
You think fast food is hitting a possum at 65 mph.
You take a six-pack cooler to church.
You consider your license plate personalized because your dad made it in prison.
The blue book value of your truck goes up and down depending on how much gas it has in it.
A seven course meal is a bucket of KFC and a sixpack.
You have spray painted your girlfriend's name on an overpass.
On your first date you had to ask your Dad to borrow the keys to the tractor.
You've ever climbed a water tower with a bucket of paint to defend your sister's honor.

Okay, this is enough for now.

Laughin' my ass off.

Oh look, I lied, here's some more jokes.


You might a redneck if

It's easier to spray weed killer on your lawn than mow it.
You think the three primary colors are John Deere Green, Ford Blue, and Primer Gray.
Your pickup has a two-tone paint job -- primer red and primer gray.
Ya can't get married to yer sweetheart 'cause there is a law against it.
The beer can collection in the town museum is the big tourist attraction.
You may be a redneck if you ever used a toilet brush as a back scratcher.
You're a lite beer drinker 'cause you start drinkin beer when it gets light.
Your wife has ever said, "Come move this transmission so I can take a bath."
You think loading the dishwasher means getting your wife drunk.
You use a NASCAR credit card.
You believe that beef jerky and Moon Pies are two of the major food groups.
Your idea of high-quality entertainment is a six-pack and a bug-zapper.
You think "taking out the trash" means taking your in-laws to a movie.

Spoiler:

O_______O

*faints*

Mmmm, dat Equiessdjiakgds