Interesting moment earlier at work today..
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20160812
Interesting moment earlier at work today..
I was helping a woman with her groceries today. She had a kid with her (about 3-5, give or take). The cashier who was checking out their groceries asks about the kid, and I get quite a shock by the answer...
Turns out she's the foster mother/grandmother (something like that) and....the kid's mom is my first crush.
I mean, I knew she had one, but too see that he's...not a baby but a few years old...it just hit me on how long it's been since I had that stupid crush... Heck, it's been so long that she probably wouldn't even know who I was now.
But anyway, none of that is important, it just got me thinking... I mean, in that ammount of time, it would seem like a lot of things have changed for that girl (married, kid, some problems maybe since she apparently lost the kid, who knows what else), but me? I mean, I have a good job, but....I haven't changed that much since then, or so I feel...except for becoming jokool on the internet.
But, honestly, I feel like it's a good thing that I haven't changed that much. I like who I am (mostly anyway), and I don't think I would enjoy big, dramatic changes in my life, especially something like what that girl seems to have gone through... Again, who knows, I'm just makng wild assumptions now.
And, thinking about it, I guess a few things have happened to me in that ammount of time: another crush (who also probably wouldn't know who I was given the length of time), the rise of jokool (anf jokool_aid), first job (that didn't go well), second job (that's going much better), learning to drive, third crush (that was a mistake), fourth crush...yeah, quite a few key things that help me grow more and learn what to do with my life.
And I'm learnng that (well, I think I've always known, but just hoped things could work out someday), later on in life, I truely will be better off single (and forever alooooone). I love kids, but I highly doubt I'd be able to take good care of one... Also....I hate drama, and one thing I've most definitely learned about love and relationships is that they can come with a crapload of drama... So yeah, no drama if you've got nobody to argue with you. :fuckyou:
But seriously, I do know I will do better in life without a relationship or anything like that. I feel like I was just wanting to be in one to see what it was like...or for the wrong reasons. *is still proud to be a virgin*
...ugh, I hate it when I start overthinking things...
Turns out she's the foster mother/grandmother (something like that) and....the kid's mom is my first crush.
I mean, I knew she had one, but too see that he's...not a baby but a few years old...it just hit me on how long it's been since I had that stupid crush... Heck, it's been so long that she probably wouldn't even know who I was now.
But anyway, none of that is important, it just got me thinking... I mean, in that ammount of time, it would seem like a lot of things have changed for that girl (married, kid, some problems maybe since she apparently lost the kid, who knows what else), but me? I mean, I have a good job, but....I haven't changed that much since then, or so I feel...except for becoming jokool on the internet.
But, honestly, I feel like it's a good thing that I haven't changed that much. I like who I am (mostly anyway), and I don't think I would enjoy big, dramatic changes in my life, especially something like what that girl seems to have gone through... Again, who knows, I'm just makng wild assumptions now.
And, thinking about it, I guess a few things have happened to me in that ammount of time: another crush (who also probably wouldn't know who I was given the length of time), the rise of jokool (anf jokool_aid), first job (that didn't go well), second job (that's going much better), learning to drive, third crush (that was a mistake), fourth crush...yeah, quite a few key things that help me grow more and learn what to do with my life.
And I'm learnng that (well, I think I've always known, but just hoped things could work out someday), later on in life, I truely will be better off single (and forever alooooone). I love kids, but I highly doubt I'd be able to take good care of one... Also....I hate drama, and one thing I've most definitely learned about love and relationships is that they can come with a crapload of drama... So yeah, no drama if you've got nobody to argue with you. :fuckyou:
But seriously, I do know I will do better in life without a relationship or anything like that. I feel like I was just wanting to be in one to see what it was like...or for the wrong reasons. *is still proud to be a virgin*
...ugh, I hate it when I start overthinking things...
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Interesting moment earlier at work today.. :: Comments
Re: Interesting moment earlier at work today..
That must be such a weird experience!
I will say one thing though:
People have crushes. It's a thing that happens, even if you don't want it to. Usually a crush is nothing more and really not ever meant to be.
Jokool, you are still very young, and I am positive that someday in your future, you will find a lady who is the one and it will be great. Relationships are hard, but when the time comes, worth it. It may not be your near future, it may take a few years, and honestly, maybe it won't happen. But from what I know about you just knowing your online self, I highly doubt you will never find real love ever. She may even come up when you least expect it. You may not even be attracted to her at first! But if it's meant to be, it is meant to be and it will work out someday.
I know this sounds very...unrealistic? romantic? I can't think of the word right now, but regardless-- coming from someone like me who is even younger and has only experienced maybe 1 or 2 real crushes ever in life, and therefore never really ever experienced love in a romantic setting, you can take my words for less than a grain of salt or whatever. But I really do believe it will all be good for you. You are a good man and that's at least one thing going for you already! Just stay strong, keep up your values, and it will work out.
No experience is really a mistake in life. You have learned, and will continue to learn, from everything you go through, and that is perfectly okay.
I will say one thing though:
People have crushes. It's a thing that happens, even if you don't want it to. Usually a crush is nothing more and really not ever meant to be.
Jokool, you are still very young, and I am positive that someday in your future, you will find a lady who is the one and it will be great. Relationships are hard, but when the time comes, worth it. It may not be your near future, it may take a few years, and honestly, maybe it won't happen. But from what I know about you just knowing your online self, I highly doubt you will never find real love ever. She may even come up when you least expect it. You may not even be attracted to her at first! But if it's meant to be, it is meant to be and it will work out someday.
I know this sounds very...unrealistic? romantic? I can't think of the word right now, but regardless-- coming from someone like me who is even younger and has only experienced maybe 1 or 2 real crushes ever in life, and therefore never really ever experienced love in a romantic setting, you can take my words for less than a grain of salt or whatever. But I really do believe it will all be good for you. You are a good man and that's at least one thing going for you already! Just stay strong, keep up your values, and it will work out.
No experience is really a mistake in life. You have learned, and will continue to learn, from everything you go through, and that is perfectly okay.
The fact that people go their separate ways is really depressing the more you think about it... but there's no other way this world could work, I think.
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