APRIL FOOLS 2016: What are video games?

I keep hearing someone talking to me... saying strange things, like "You can save your game by opening the menu with START." Is someone playing a prank on me? That doesn't make sense.

People always tell me to eat food off the floor ;w;

People randomly give me stuff and say that it goes to my inventory. But I don't know what/where it is!

And if you do find it, how is it possible to fit something like a bicycle in it?

Heck, forget all that! How come when I have ten animal carcasses, a full library, and armor for every occasion in my backpack, picking up a key is what throws me overboard? I just can't run with that one damn key!

and how the people I find out are murderers don't get convicted based on behavior? acting THAT strange would get them the death penalty easily.

Hoot hoot! Hello there, [Player], you seem lost. Perhaps you could use some advice? I would direct your attention to [Settled area], where you might find someone in need of a brave soul to challenge [conveniently nearby dungeon] to retrieve [Important Item].
Did you follow all that?
>No
Yes

(I think you can do inline spoilers, right? How does that work again?)

[ spoiltext ] 'v'

You know what really bothers me? When an NPC gives me important info that I don't catch, and then doesnt repeat it. What is happening!

Voices in my head are nothing new. Some people freak out about that, but I don't.

"Snake, the yellow dot is you, and the blue dots on the radar are your enemies."

Who makes enemies blue dots and not red?

jokool wrote:Who makes enemies blue dots and not red?

And the walls on the map are also blue! Why, you ask!? NANOMACHINES SON

I've used radar since when all friends and foes were shown as green shapes. God were those systems heavy.