Jack Pschitt plays Shin Megami Tensei iOS

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Re: Jack Pschitt plays Shin Megami Tensei iOS

Post by Cap'n Jack on 30th April 2016, 11:27 pm

I should be taking a final exam for one of my classes right now, but instead, I'm doing this! I know, I took a break for two weeks because of school work, but now it's finals week and I'm back to this Japanese iPhone game. Well, kids, let me tell you about a little something called "procrastination". If you ever want to learn how to procrastinate like nobody's business, I'm da man!

I also should probably change the title of this thread now that my user name is no longer "Jack Pschitt", but believe it or not, I've seen some of my screen-shots on Google Images, so for the sake of consistency, I won't touch the title. I wonder if any guests are coming here from Google Images and reading this little play log of mine to see if it's any good. I wonder if I've convinced them that it is in fact pretty good.

Enough speculation! This is Chapter 6!


Thank goodness for the "Continue" system I rambled about in the last chapter! Thanks to this, I haven't lost any progress I made before I got my ass handed to me by Orias, which means I am still level 4 and LIEF is still level 3. Jeez, we're six chapters into this thing and I'm only level 4? Well, this game isn't terribly long by the standards of the franchise it spawned (still a hell of a lot longer than a lot of games coming out today!), so I think I can truck through this. My first play-through was about 45 hours long, and the first play-through is always the longest with these games.

Speaking of my first play-through, I don't remember Orias being this tough! However, I think I can pin-point the reason I beat Orias on the first attempt last time...

Yeah, I'm lookin' at you, Mr. Demon. You see, when I fought Orias in that first play-through - my virginal introduction to the incredible pantheon of bosses in this wonderful franchise - even then, naive as can be in the summer of 2015, I had something that poor little JACK does not have right now... demons!

... Unfortunately, as far as I can tell Ghost here is impossible to negotiate with, because all he ever does is say that he's not your friend and then tries to kill you. Ghosts are kinda dickheads in this game.

Ghost: Who are you? You dare speak to me, knowing that I am Ghost? Your face is so stupid. What are you smirking about? Who do you think I am!? I am the great Spirit Ghost! I am not your friend!

See? After that little antisocial hissy-fit, he took a swipe at me and I killed him. I feel no remorse for emo weirdos who don't want to be friends with me.

After him, I ran into a Pixie. That shouldn't sound like good news, because my track record with Pixies is identical to my track record with human girls, but guess what happened this time?

44 MAG and a couple hundred yen in the hole, but it's our first demon recruitment! Let this be the first of many successful demon conversations. And let it kick in soon, because I'm gonna need more than a Pixie to survive a fight with Orias...

Uh... okay, starting now!

Actually, I didn't even mess up this conversation the usual way, with my social skills. In this game, for whatever reason, demons don't want to listen to me on a Full Moon. See that icon in the top-left of the screen there? It says "FULL MOON". You thought that icon was completely pointless, didn't you? Well... if you ask me, yeah. This is a really stupid mechanic that makes no sense, unless this is somehow a way to tie this game into the universe of Persona 3...

Wait... demons don't listen to me during a full moon... the Arcana Shadows appear on the night of a full moon... and the Moon is [DATA EXPUNGED FOR BEING EXTREMELY INCONSIDERATE SPOILERS], and that's why Yukari is the best waifu! It all makes sense now!

After piecing together this shocking revelation, I ran into a couple of Pixies again. I decided to chat them up, now that I have one of them under my wing.

If I talk to a demon of a type which I already have in my stock, the encounter will automatically end, and there's a random chance of the demon giving me free stuff! This is a merciful mechanic that has thankfully remained in the series as recently as Shin Megami Tensei IV (when I'm not getting INSTANTLY BONED UP THE ASS by a TOTALLY RANDOM FIRST STRIKE FROM THE ENEMY which inspires me to restart the game for like the FIFTY MILLIONTH TIME BECAUSE IT'S SHIT AND I HATE IT but I digress).

You might think that this is a hospital patient that I shouldn't kill, but 1) it's actually a Zombie, and 2) this hospital is being used for very un-hospital-like things right now, so I slice it up with my Attack Knife easily, and I got a random Medicine drop from it as well. No doubt, I will keep this Medicine in my inventory for the rest of the game without ever using it or selling it because I'll keep telling myself "I never know when I might need this!"

Some more aimless meandering later, and I've got myself a Knocker! He's a decent early-game demon, mostly just due to the fact that he's a demon and I'll take all I can get right now.

All of this aimless meandering is probably boring you as much as it's boring me, but it's all in service of a goal I have in mind, and any minute now...

Finally, a Weredog! This one's trying to get all philosophical on me, though, so I have to play my cards right... I don't believe humans are beyond salvation, so I answered "No". If he doesn't like that answer, then I don't want him on my team anyway.

Weredog: I'll take a look and see if you'll be saved.

And by that he means he's just gonna swipe at me with his club! How rude! I just had to kill him and hope for a nicer Weredog to show up in this godforsaken hospital.

SPEAKING OF RANDOM ITEM DROPS, a really nice Knocker gave me a Bead for keeping his friend in my stock! One Bead restores one party member's health completely, from 2 HP to 2,000 HP, so that's super cool. More super coolly, though, I killed a Preta and it dropped a Tonfa! Holy crap! That's a melee weapon that's way better than my Attack Knife, so I immediately replaced it. And to think I was planning on buying one with money... hah! Killing demons is so much easier!

Just to add to all the sudden good luck I've been having, I convinced a Weredog to join me! Weredog is easily the best demon to have this early into the game, so now I feel confident about taking on Orias again.

Here's what the summoning menu looks like. Actually, this is pretty much what every menu looks like. This game does not have the same stylish flair that Persona puts into its menus. 0/10 not enough chie

Now here's what the Etrian Odyssey-esque HUD looks like when it's almost filled up with demons. It's five against one now! Orias is going down!

After enduring the same dialog I showed you last chapter, again responding that I have not been altered and will not be altered like the strong independent black woman I am, it's Orias Attempt #2! Let's Fighting Love!!

Here's the reason I wanted a Weredog so badly. Now, if you're looking at the names "Rakukaja" and "Diarama" and thinking "WTFObama", then don't worry because everybody thinks that during their first Shin Megami Tensei game. I'm not sure where they get these spell names from, but they've actually worked out this sort of nomenclature, to the point where fans like me who talk the talk can actually discern the nature of a never-before-seen spell just by its name. What I'm saying is, get used to it.

In Persona, Rakukaja only raises one party member's defense for three turns, but in this game, Rakukaja not only affects the entire party and not only has no turn limit, but it can be stacked! Forget what Pokemon has taught you about buffs being useless, this is a REAL MAN'S JRPG, where buffs separate the boys from the MEN. And if you're female then that's cool too I guess.

Knocker has Tarukaja, which raises the party's offense, so basically, this time fighting Orias was a breeze because every turn my attack and defense both went up a stage as I barraged Orias with non-stop physical attacks. With my rotten luck, Pixie missed her one chance at using Zionga and LIEF was asleep for the whole fight thanks to Orias using Dormina on him, but thanks to Knocker and Weredog buffing me up every turn, I still managed to turn the tables on Orias by myself, and I knocked that sunuvabitch into next Tuesday with my trusty Tonfa that I've owned for five minutes!

That's what I just said, if you could get through all of that hard-kore SMT lingo!

Lest we forget why exactly I just went to Hell and back for that boss (kinda literally), I disengaged the lock to the front door of the hospital. I might have felt bad for letting demons escape, but there were already demons in the "arcade", so... Kichijoji's kinda boned as it is. That is, unless brave heroes like me come out of the woodwork and prove our mettle! Maybe now Girl and SOLAR from school will be impressed!

Thankfully no gory details. Nope, nothing objectionable to be found in this game but demon butts and giant wang monsters.

Let's go tell Stephen how awesome we are!

Oh. I guess unlocking the front door also unlocked all of the cells, because nobody is left in this hospital except us. Let's be out of here, then!

Oh, no, y'know, I've made so many good memories here and-- of course I want to leave!

Now that that weird old man is no longer blocking the way to Inogashira Park, I decided to check out this weird red-roofed joint in the middle. With my posse of demons in tow, I don't feel so intimidated any more.

Whoa, the interior of this place is pretty swanky. Finally, some taxpayer money being put to good use! At least, I hope this is taxpayer money... I mean, not that I hope it's being taken out of my pocket, but that, y'know... humans built this place.

Well, hey, I'll trust any place that calls itself a Cathedral. Let's pop in and praise Jeezus. I hope we sing some fun gospel soul tunes and not that boring chant stuff.

Uh-- w-- uh-- umm... I don't mean to be rude, Mr. Cathedral Master, but it didn't say "of Shadows" on the sign! I'm just looking for a nice, simple place to worship, so I'll be going now. Tell your organ player I like his style, though, he's shredding!

Man, that must be some trendy new denomination or something... phew. Anyway, a few left turns later and I sashayed into this here establishment.

Say, I like the sound of that!

This place is called the "Ashram", and it's one of three establishments which can heal me for a fee. This one is the most expensive, but you'll understand why as the game goes on.

After healing at that nice non-denominational Ashram, I went up the road that I must've take so many times over the years, toward my house. I passed the spot where I was arrested a few chapters ago and the game stopped me in my tracks... oh no! Am I being arrested again?! I have demons and I ain't afraid to use 'em!!!

Oh, yeah? Who gave you that load of BS? I'm just gonna leave you with some advice, buddy; check your sources before you wreck your... sources. And tell 'em JACK sentcha!

On the way to my house is SOLAR's house. LIEF most likely would want to check and see if she's home, and of course I'd like an opportunity to show her what she's missing out on, now that I've got demons and stuff.

Doctor Next Door: If you have any idea where she might have gone, could you look for her? Please, JACK... Before she left, she said she was thinking about heading to Shinjuku.

Isn't she aware that the trains are shut down and we're in the middle of a lock-down? How does she think she's gonna get to Shinjuku? Aww, man, LIEF, is your house in Shinjuku? Ugh, if SOLAR had just stayed here, this would be a non-issue. Of course, though, I will look for her. I have no choice, I'm a hero.

Finally, I'm back home. Y'know, I don't ever want to feel like I'm not safe in my own home, but these past few days have done a number on me. I just hope Mom is okay.

Damn it! I can't just sit by while Mom is at risk of being attacked by demons or randomly arrested.

I checked my computer, but only for like five minutes I swear!

Great, another creepy e-mail from creepy Stephen. Although, he did help me out a bunch, and considering he gave me the Demon Summoning Program, he's probably the reason I'm alive. I shouldn't be so harsh on him. Here's his creepy e-mail.

Date: 10/XZ/199X
From: Stephen
Attn: the recipient of the Demon Summoning Program.

There are several things I should warn you about regarding this program.

- During full moons, demons are too crazed to carry on a conversation.
- Even the friendlier races will not join you if they're of an opposed alignment.
- You can only have up to 3 demons summoned at any given time.

I have more programs, but I've reached my transfer limit. If only we could meet. but that would be...

> The message ends there.

So it seems this e-mail was sent before I bumped into him at the hospital. That's really weird, though, because...

This has never happened to me in this game! In my first play-through, I never saw this e-mail, and Mom never left the house on my watch. I was legitimately confused at this point, but then I remembered what I had to do. After all, there has to be a reason why there are six party slots and yet I can only summon three demons...


Ozawa: What the hell are you talkin' about, demons? Hey guys, let's beat this guy's ass!

> A gang has cornered a young man and is beating him.

LIEF: That's so cruel... I can't allow this. Hey! What do you think you're doing!? Stop that right now!

Whatever, dude, I've got my own bone to pick with you! My friend Girl from school told me you've been looking for SOLAR, and you're gonna tell me where she is or I'll kick your ass! Even if you do tell me, I'm gonna kick your ass anyway cuz I don't like you!

Ozawa ran off before I could have my way. Apparently he only fights when he can outnumber somebody. What a cowardly thing to do! I'd never!

Young man: Never...

LIEF: Are you all right?

Young man: Shut up! Do I look all right to you... ? If only I had power... Then I'd...

LIEF: What should we do, JACK? He's still talking like that.

Young man: H-Hey... What did you just say... ? You called him JACK, didn't you?

Young man: That must mean that you're LIEF.

LIEF: ... You must be LUX.

LUX: I see. Well it looks like you saved me. Augh... Dammit! If only I had more power... I can't even beat these bastards by myself... How am I supposed to fight demons if I can't even fight Ozawa? Please! Let me join you! Well, I'm coming whether you like it or not.

I was gonna say yeah, but okay.

Sweet! Now let's go see if Mom is anywhere in this "arcade".

Despite what it appears, this is a different area of the "arcade". Actually, it's the exact spot where that guy with the knife got torn to ribbons by that Preta. Watch where you step, cuz I doubt the police have had time to clean up the area... also, tell me something I didn't find out for myself several chapters ago. RPG NPCs have no sense.

I went to the cafe, since that's probably where Mom ended up.

Man: What's going on here?

You've summed it up. No, really, that's pretty much the plot of this game so far.

Woman: What was that all about?

That was me you saw! Or... was this happening all over the neighborhood? That's most likely. Man, this is messed up.

I walked up to the bar. Still no sign of Mom. Tell me what's up, Mr. Owner.

Owner: It hasn't been used in years... They say that monsters have been there lately.

Monsters? I wonder if those are kinda like the ones running around in your cafe that I have to fight tooth-and-nail?! I'm gonna need your strongest Orange Juice, for the road...

So I was right. That building with the Cathedral "of Shadows" and the Ashram hasn't always been there. Well, how quickly did it come up? Don't tell me this was an over-night thing... I can hardly remember what this neighborhood was like before October XX...

I left the cafe and went over to the antique store, since the owner gave me the cold shoulder last time I was here, but it seems like a place Mom would hang out.

Antique Store: I'll sell ya what you want. I guarantee their quality.

Sell me what? What are talking abou--

Holy crap! Some guy was telling me that you had some under-the-counter dealings to be had, but I thought it was like weed or something! Yo, this antique guy sells heat?!?! I guess now I know where LIEF got his piece... seems like a pretty unlawful thing for him to do. Also, expensive, way more expensive than I can afford. I'll have to go gunless for now.

Antique Store: In the end, the only things you can rely on are your own skills and your gun.

Is it okay if I have no skills? Is a gun enough? Ah, well, I can't afford it anyway. I'll just slash at things with my trust Tonfa that I've owned for about twenty minutes. We've been through a lot.

I left the "arcade" and looked all over town for Mom. I walked up to one of the road blocks to ask the cops if they've seen a distraught-looking middle-aged woman who wears an apron everywhere.

HOLY CRAP! Y'all aren't cops! Are you... are you SDF?! Martial law?!!? What the hell is going on?!?! Man, I just wanna get out of Kichijoji!

I ran screaming with my arms flailing like Kermit to the nearest place of comfort that I could find, SOLAR's house.

Doctor Next Door: The police didn't take me seriously when I called, and I can't look on my own with these roadblocks. I'd be beside myself if anything happened to her... Oh, what am I going to do?

I don't know what to do either, man... I mean, at the very least, maybe the police will have a better chance at helping us now that the Self-Defense Force is managing the... martial law, as it is now. Maybe SOLAR is safe in Shinjuku, but now that the SDF and martial law are part of the equation, I have a feeling that Shinjuku might not be safe, either...

I can't stand thinking on such a big scale. I decided to take LIEF and LUX back to my house. Then, at long last, a familiar face...

Mother: Welcome home, JACK. I'm always ever so worried about you.

Mom! You scared me! Just... just don't leave the house until this is all over!

Aww, c'mon, Mom, I'm not a little kid.

Mother: What's wrong? Why won't you come to me? You know I love you, no matter what. Come here, my darling!

Wh-- Jeez, Mom, cool your jets!

LIEF: Something's strange...

LUX: Yeah, there's definitely something fishy about this.

Wh... what? What did you... ?

Demon: You'll see her again soon. In my stomach, that is...

Are you saying... did you just... Who are you and what's the meaning of this?!

Demon: But first, let's see how deliciously you struggle!

The demon peeled off my mother's skin to reveal its true form...

Amanojaku, this is the last time you will ever hear your own name! This isn't any old ass-kicking, you demon bitch! Were you friends with Orias? Bitch, I just got done kicking his ass! I'm still riding that high, you piece of shit! That was practice, and I did it with five members in my crew! Now you have to answer to LUX as well, and man, he is just itching to kick something's ass, and I'm gonna let him!

Let it be known, however, that I'm going to take special pleasure in this fight, because you've made it personal. You fucked with me!

You don't get a second chance when you fuck with me!

33 damage!

Weredog buffed defense. This demon shit has an attack that targets the entire party, but nobody got knocked down. Nobody was about to fall down on my watch against this fucker!

Knocker buffed attack. LIEF barraged it with Zan, the wind attack. LUX pommeled it with Agi, the fire attack. I got up close and personal, just the way I like it, with my Tonfa. Thanks to a steady stream of Tarukaja every turn, every blast of Zan, every searing scorch of Agi, and every bloody slice of the Tonfa dug deeper into the demon's flesh. I wish I could've seen all the blood pouring out of this rat piece of shit, but this being a 24-year-old game, I'll have to settle for using my imagination to envision all of the stains in the carpet, all of the red that I must've sprayed onto the walls like paint. It doesn't matter. All that matters is that this thing pays for what it did.

132 HP, this thing had. It's all gone. I wiped out every last point of that red bar. I got 576 yen, a level's worth of experience, and an ID Card. It doesn't matter. All that matters is that we killed it, and I savored it. This thing didn't put a dent in my team. We did it together.

LIEF: Don't be too hard on yourself. This wasn't your fault.

I hadn't thought of that. Was it... my fault?

LUX: Give it a rest, LIEF. Leave the guy alone... His mom just died.

Uh... yeah. We can see that, LUX. You're the one who should give it a rest. Jeez...

Huh? Pascal, you're safe!

You'd best believe I'll let you come along, buddy! Besides... there's nothing left for you here.

Pascal: Bark! Woof! Arf!

> Pascal the dog is tagging along.

As uncomfortable as it might be to sleep in my bed with the body of my mother's killer in the living room, this neighborhood has gone to hell in just a few days. Anything I can get for free is a blessing, and a save point with free healing is just the blessing I need. As I saved the game, I thought about Mom.

Did she die while I was in the hospital? Did she die when I was looking for her? When... and how? There are so many questions left unanswered...

Maybe so, but... there's no point dwelling on this one. It would be best to put it to rest and look for SOLAR, and a way to fix all the pain that these demons have brought upon the people of Tokyo. Imagine what just happened to me, repeating a million, two million, three million, millions upon millions of times all over the city! We have to do something, and we can do something!

Next chapter... we're gonna do something!

Squad up!

Cap'n Jack

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Re: Jack Pschitt plays Shin Megami Tensei iOS

Post by Cap'n Jack on 8th May 2016, 4:11 pm

You'd think I'd be cranking these out by the bucket-load considering I'm in the middle of a break between classes, right? Well, wouldn't you know it, I'm only on break until the 16th, when I have a summer class starting up to make up for the slow pace at which I've been taking my freshman year of college. Most of my break thus far has been spent in a CONSTANT STATE OF HYPE, however. I hardly have enough space in my gray matter left to think about SMTi, because simultaneously I am hyped out of my mind for Persona 5 and Radiohead's new album. Shin Megami Tensei is my favorite video game series and Persona is my favorite sub-series within it, and Radiohead is my favorite band, so I am like basically high right now. I set an alarm just to wake up on the 5th in time to watch a live stream of a new trailer for Persona 5 which confirmed a September 15th release for Japan, and it got me so excited that I made a Reddit account and joined the SMT sub-Reddit just to have an outlet for my excitement, and now I've been looking all over the place for a PS3 that I can buy for the sole express purpose of playing Persona 5 when it comes to this country. Radiohead's new album was released just a few minutes ago, apparently titled A Moon Shaped Pool, and it's their first album since I started listening to them when I was about fifteen, so I'm gonna buy the CD/MP3 combo as soon as it becomes available on Amazon. And on top of all of this, my favorite metal band, Gojira, has a new album in a little while and Shin Megami Tensei IV Apocalypse is still something I want to get my hands on but the hype for Persona 5 has consumed my mind.

Basically, what I'm saying is I've been having a really good time since the last chapter and I'm stoked beyond belief for like five things at the same time and praying for my wallet all the while! It's a good time to be me right now.

Today is Mother's Day. In the last chapter of this play-through, JACK's mother was eaten by a demon. The battle has been brought home. It's personal now. This Mother's Day, JACK will set out into the chaotic streets of Kichijoji with a vengeance. LIEF's girlfriend, my neighbor, is out there somewhere, LUX wants to beat the snot out of Ozawa and so do I because he's been looking for SOLAR (LIEF's girlfriend [my neighbor]), and Pascal is now alongside the three of us as we go out into that good night.

It's Chapter 7!


Looks like we won't be taking the easy way to Shinjuku. If SOLAR was headed for the train station and got turned down like us, then shouldn't she still be kicking around in Kichijoji? That is... if she is still kicking.

We can't think about something like that for now. We're supposed to be energized, not disheartened right now. Nothing in the "arcade" is different, so there's nothing left to do in town except check out the Echo Building behind the train station and see what's different.

Oh, yeah, I got an ID Card off of that blue fucker with the horn. Must've forgotten in the blind rage I killed him in.

In any event, we entered the Echo Building. Guess what's in here?

As absolutely fed up as I am with this whole demon situation, it's important to keep a level head and remember that not every demon is a bad guy. Some of them will be your Persona ally. I tried being friendly with this Kobold, but it asked for something that I didn't have.

Kobold: "What? This isn't a joke!"

He got a little feisty with me, but I gave him a Bead and he was so impressed that he became my demon. Giving up a Bead was probably a really bad idea, but forgive me if I'm not thinking straight right now.

Tucked away in the corner of the first floor, I found the elevator. This will allow me to skip all of the punishment that the next few floors no doubt have in store for me.

I also accidentally took a picture of my iPhone's volume meter! Whoops! There's a little bit of inside baseball for ya!

Anyway, I decided that trudging up the floors the hard way and getting the experience to come with it was probably a wiser decision. There's no such thing as a free lunch in Shin Megami Tensei unless I get my ass kicked at the end, so taking the long way up this building is actually the safer option right now.

As soon as I stepped off the elevator, I'm greeting by a kind face.

Not! Who fed this guy past midnight? I didn't bother negotiating because these guys are really weak. The experience is more valuable if I'm in this for the long haul like I've decided to put myself through.

Here's what stairs look like in this game. You like that? Get used to it. Sometimes the hand rails are a different color.

And no sooner do we reach the top of the stairs than we bump into another kind face!

It's a burgundy-skinned naked dude with an owl's head and wings. I tried recruiting it because that's a special kind of weird, but it turns out these guys are a bit irritable and I had to fight it.

So much scrolling down identical hallways, so much on my mind... I need something to wake me up! C'mon! I need to be energized right now! For Mom!

Yeah, Happy Mother's Day to you, too, ya weirdo! You're lucky the game doesn't give me the option to fight you right now, or else I would. Alas, I'm left with no choice but to see what's through that door behind you.

As I shove the door open, I come upon a familiar sight.

> A suspicious man is conducting some sort of ritual.

Summoner: My brethren! Come to this world, from the Expanse!

Yes! Me again! I know what you really are, so let's give this everything we've got!

> Run away?


Summoner: I cannot defile the chamber where my brethren will arrive. Let us take this outside!

Let us! I can scrap anywhere, yo!

I'm not running away this time, Douman! Hit me with your best shot, punk!


Pascal is not fighting alongside us, which is disappointing from a sentimental perspective, but at the same time, I don't want my widdle puppy to get hurt by this guy's Maragi.

Maragi still really effs us up. If Douman had spammed Maragi the whole fight, he probably would have won. Weredog and Knocker buffed as usual, Pixie got in a good Zionga and then healed until she died. LIEF eventually became the healer of the fight, along with Weredog when he stacked Rakukaja so that our defense was as high as it could be. Douman still was a tough foe, even with our beefed-up defense.

What matters most, though, is that Douman is dead. Now, let's go smash up this device he's trying to summon his demon homeys with!

Heh heh, it looks kinda like a vadge.

Huh? Pascal, easy there, boy!

What's going on? What are you all fussed about?

No sooner than I had the thought, though, did a bolt of blue lightning suddenly arc through the air next to Pascal! First to the left, then to the right of him. Each bolt was coupled with a harsh, electrical sound. The noise quickly escalated in frequency as Pascal was surrounded by two, three, maybe even more fingers of jagged, raw energy.

The light became unbearable. I can only imagine what it was like for Pascal. When the smoke cleared, I look to the spot where he once stood.

> He abruptly disappears...

... What? Pascal is... gone? He was so enthusiastic about joining me after Mom died, and I thought we were gonna do this together! Not just kill Douman, but kill all of these wretched demons who've caused us so much pain in just a few days! Just a few days!

Can you believe that? Just a few days ago, Mom was alive, SOLAR was safe, Yuriko wasn't hounding me wherever I went, I had never met LIEF or LUX nor needed their help. Just a few days ago, I was just a Japanese school boy without a care in the world. My dog was there, my mother was there... and in the blink of an eye, they're both gone now.

Oh, is that what this is? Didn't Stephen say he was on the team that was developing these things? Forgive me if I'm not jumping at the bit to figure out how this thing works.

LUX, LIEF and I, now without Pascal, took the elevator down to the ground floor, left the Echo Building, and walked down the street, to my empty house, the only place in this entire game that gives me a free bit of rest.

There were no dreams this time. When I woke up, there was no new e-mail from Stephen. Nothing has changed. The three of us went back down those same streets to the Echo Building.

I went to the spot where Yuriko was standing before, and if you can recall, the same spot where Mom was standing in that vision a few chapters ago.

That door at the end of the hall is one I'll need to go through again, no matter how much I don't want to.

Half-heartedly, I clicked "Transport", because why the hell not? I have nothing else to do. When I clicked "Transport", a list of available locations came up, a list with only one item: "Research Lab". Of course, I clicked on it.

The screen got all wavy, and I arrived at an identical-looking Terminal, this one being the "Research Lab Terminal". I walked out the door and peeked in the room next to it, to be greeted by... a Zombie!

Wait! No! It's speaking to me...

Researcher: There was a secret... project about computer communications... taking place here... We were developing... a Terminal system. Two or three days ago... demons attacked. Everyone was killed... or made into zombies... You should... hurry and... get out of here...

Everyone except Stephen, I presume? Seeing this man reduced to this state is something I will not stand for. The site I use to host these images is giving me shit for some reason and I really don't wanna deal with it right now, so I will stop here and get pumped for the next update.

Next time you see me, I'm gonna try my best to get out of this Research Lab and get to the bottom of this demon business, if I can. This chapter is supposed to be a lot longer, but like I said, my image hosting site decided that today was the perfect day so start giving me technical trouble for no damn reason and I'm getting sick of it, so consider this a "pause" before I build up the patience to try again, because this is not supposed to be the end of the chapter. Oh, no, sir... this is only the beginning of it.

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Re: Jack Pschitt plays Shin Megami Tensei iOS

Post by Cap'n Jack on 8th May 2016, 11:05 pm

After a brief pause because I was getting shat on for no reason by the image hosting site I use, this is Chapter 7 continued! Where was I...

If you're just joining me, well, first of all you're making a mistake, and second, before I got flustered and took a break from this chapter, I talked to a zombified researcher after killing Douman and jacking his Terminal and teleporting all willy-nilly wherever it took me. I'm in a strange building called the "Research Lab" and I have no idea where I am beyond that.

Fortunately, I found a gentleman who works here, so he might answer my questions.

Orc: Your human disguise is top-notch... Hm? Wait, you really ARE human!

Orc fight!

I auto-battled him to death and he didn't put a scratch on me. Man, if I thought Douman was tough, looks like I ain't seen nuthin' yet!

Still just reeling from that suuuuuper difficult fight with the Orc, I had no room to breathe because look!

I bumped into an Andras that I can actually get along with. I gave him a Bead, a Life Stone, and couple hundred yen. I don't remember if Andras is worth it... but whatever, I'm sick of this place already!

I bumped along the place a little more, trying to find a way out, picking up a whole lot of incense, and then guess who I ran into?

No, not Yuriko! It's...

Stephen! How ya been, buddy? I don't remember how I'm supposed to feel toward you, so give me one of your trusty monologues!

Stephen: This is the research lab where the Terminal system was under development. But it wasn't immune to Gotou's influence... By the way, have you found the Demon Summoning Program useful so far?

Well, even though demons have basically ruined my life... yeah, the DSP has been pretty invaluable for getting past Orias and Amanojaku and Douman... and especially that Orc!

Stephen: Are you satisfied with the number of demons you can recruit?

Uh, my stock hasn't been full yet, but if I say no, will you make it bigger?

Stephen: In that case, I'll up your computer's memory. ......... There, all done. You can store two more demons now. That should let you put the Demon Summoning Program to even better use now.

What a guy! Almost makes me wonder why he didn't do that in the first place!

After that, I was kicked out of the room and when I went back in, he was gone. What a guy... y'know, for a dude in a wheelchair, this bloke is fast.

Oh, no! I couldn't possibly handle another fight with an Orc! What ever shall I do?!?!

I auto-battled it to death and got away unscathed again. He dropped a Sanjiegun, whatever that is.

Shortly after the second Orc beating, I finally found the exit. Turns out I'm in the middle of...

Sendagaya? Time to break out the as-yet-unheard-of future technology of Google, 'cause I have no idea how far away Sendagaya is from Kichijoji...

Google directions from Kichijoji to Sendagaya

Half an hour away by 首都高速4号新宿線? Jeez!

It's a good thing that in this game I can get from Sendagaya to Shinjuku in two seconds.

Wait! Shinjuku is where SOLAR was headed, wasn't it? With the trains out of service, I doubt she's actually here, but maybe she found a way... I have to keep my eye out for SOLAR while I'm here. But first, there's giant TV to be watched! I wonder what martial law TV is like...

There's that Gotou guy Stephen mentioned. This guy's trying to use Terminals to summon demons, right? I should shut up and listen to the TV.

Gotou: This civilization is rotten to its core. Our society is built on exploitation of Gaea, the earth. As prejudice, poverty, and war engulf the world, we have awakened ancient demons. This was done in order to prepare for the true crisis. That crisis is the Japan Annihilation Project! We have drawn on the power of the ancient gods to fight this horrific conspiracy. Our aim is for gods and mankind to coexist and create a utopia!

> The speech goes on...

What the hell is this "Japan Annihilation Project" thing he's talking about? Whatever, I don't trust anybody who uses the word "utopia". Furthermore, does this man seriously have the gall to assert that demons are going to be good for us? I've lost all respect for this man and I haven't even met him.

I decided to enter those yellow buildings off to the south-west of the big screen. Maybe the people here in Shinjuku are as skeptical of Gotou as I am.

No, I don't. With these demons running around, though, I might just be reconsidering...

Woman: Oh, my, that's not good. Join our Messian Faith and let us pray to God together. If we would all pray to God, He will surely save us... He will send a Messiah to help us.

Well, at least she's not pestering me any further than that. You do what you think is gonna help, I'll do what I think is gonna help.

Now, what indoor location in this game would be complete without demons running around?!

Aww, look at this guy! He's the mascot of Atlus! He's got his little cap and his little boots and he's even waving hi to us! How're ya doin', bud?

Jack Frost: "Hahahaha! Run home and have your mommy nurse you!"

> Jack Frost left.

What a little piece of shit.

I bumped into a room with a man inside of it.

Man: Their leader must be both smart and brave to take on both the coup and the Americans.

What? Americans? Resistance? Coup? Americans? Where? Me? No! Japanese! See? Americans? What? What, pumpkin? Pumpki-- what, what, pumpkin? What?

Between these cryptic demons and nearly-as-cryptic humans, I sauntered into a bar. Maybe here in Shinjuku the bartenders are a little more lenient...

Oh, no, you're welcome, m'lady. *tips COMP visor*

As always happens in these places, I chatted up everyone there, being way more out-going than I am in real life, and crossing my fingers hoping Yuriko isn't here.

Researcher: There was a man in a wheelchair there... I wonder what happened to him.

I don't like how this guy says "Gotou's demons". That makes me think that the demons coming out of the Terminals wasn't just a freak incident. Does this mean... Gotou is the reason there are demons in Tokyo?! I need to get to the bottom of this or else I'm gonna slap a bitch. Shoot, I'm gonna do that anyway once I find out who needs a beat-down.

American Soldier: He took action because he couldn't allow the confusion in Tokyo to continue any longer. His actions are well-intentioned and the right thing to do.

Whoa, a real-life American, here in Tokyo! Looks like America is stepping into another country's problems yet again. You know what, though... we're gonna need all the help we can get to stop this crazy Gotou guy. How does a loon like him climb all the way up the ladder to his position anyway? Looks like I should have a word with Mr. Ambassador Thorman.

American Soldier: Our forces have taken steps to prevent that.

You tell 'em, white man! Heh, I wonder how many bleeding hearts are up in arms about America invading Japan even though this actually makes me feel a lot better. That is, as long as the US Army and the JSDF don't start fighting. That would only make matters worse.

American Soldier: I would listen to anything he has to say to me.

I'm gonna have to talk to this Thorman guy myself before I pass judgement on you, Mr. American Soldier.

Finally, I walked up to the bar. Before I asked for a drink, though, I asked what he could tell me about this whole situation.

Bartender: I don't think they work for Gotou...

Viva la Resistance and all that, but I don't understand why the Americans are a problem here? Call me a stupid American all you like, but if I can't fight fire with fire and use my demons to kick all the demons out of Tokyo, then I'd love help from the Americans. Ideally, I'd like help from the SDF as well, but Gotou's in charge of that here in Tokyo and he's kinda... the problem, from what I can gather.

Anyway, now to soothe my spirits. The bar offers a selection of "On the Rocks", "Gin Fizz", and "Vodka Tonic". I go for the vodka tonic because I like my booze harder than my schlong when I wake up in the morning.

Bartender: Sorry, but I can't serve that to minors. Why not have some Orange juice instead?

What?! Listen, man, my mom is dead, my dog teleported away to fuck-knows-where, this city has gone to shit, and I've been killing demons all the while, I've probably been saving lives for all I know, man! I'm old enough to die, I'm old enough to vote, and you're gonna tell me that I'm not old enough to drink?! Do you know the shit I've seen?! I just, I... I... I...

I give up. I mean, he'd already poured it for me, I might as well...

Bartender: Thanks for the business.

Yeah, yeah...

Hey, Pyro Jack, how're you doing?

Pyro Jack: "You're the living definition of the word 'idiot'!"

Oh, piss off.

A friendly Imp said hi to me and decided to be mine.

Imp: "I'm bored with my life... Hey, if I join you, will you fuse me with a cutie?"

Yeah, you will! I'll introduce you to my friend Pixie. She knows Zionga!

Stop me if you've heard this one before; three Japanese teen-agers walk into a bar...


Bartender: Whaddaya want? Ya wanna drink?

Bartender: Do you have the Demon Summoning Program?

Yes, I do.

Bartender: Do you think it's okay to let demons kill as they please?

No, and that's what I'm here to put an end to!

Bartender: Do you think it's wrong to bring about peace through overwhelming force?

That's not peace. Lots of people could stand to learn that...

Bartender: I have something for you. Take this. It should help you find the one you're looking for.

> JACK obtained the Matchbook.

Umm... thanks? I answer moral questions and get a matchbook? This truly is the golden way.

As I left that bar and went on to bar #3 of the night, I got Bound and thus could not communicate with demons.

By "it", the game means me. I think.

Hostess: Welcome.

Hey, look, another one! And by "one" I mean bar!

Look, dude, I don't know how you instantly detected that I'm lonely, but I don't have time to worry about that right now!

SDF Officer: Commander Gotou took action because he was worried that would be the case.

Oh, yeah? And who gave Gotou the right to-- sorry, sorry, you do great work, sir.

Yeah, and I'd wager that was the right thing to do, you crazy-- sorry, sorry, the SDF is invaluable.

SDF Officer: He's in a building northwest of Shinjuku.

I don't like him much either! Thanks for letting me know where he is so I can beat him up!

Bartender: There's a Resistance, too. This girl by the name of SOLAR heads it up.

Whoa, whoa, whoa! SOLAR? My neighbor, the little school girl? This game is just shock after shock after shock, it's like Metal Gear!

I left the bar. If the American bar wouldn't even serve me, surely the Japanese bar won't let me drink.

Woman: The same goes for that coup. It's dangerous to resist the people in the coup, though.

It's dangerous, but listen, Ms. Woman. I'm going to save this town. I'm gonna do it for you, for everyone you know, for me and my friends here... and for Mom.

*lets go of stranger's shoulders*

My attitude impressed a nearby Jack Frost, I guess, and he joined my party. Hee-ho!

Hel-loooooooooo, nurse! How much do you charge... ?

Euhh... actually, that "Undead" descriptor doesn't bode well. Let's get out of here and walk into the nearest door.


This place is pretty swanky!

Messian Pastor: What business do you have with the Messian Church?

Oh, uh, I'm just checking out the town, sorry to bother you, I'm just window-shopping.

Woman: There's no way for me to get home now... What am I supposed to do?

We're all scared, miss.

Woman: I can hear people lamenting... but the shadows won't go away. ... Ugh, my head hurts.

Shadows? Hah... I wish. My head hurts, too.

Girl: When I said no, he went to go talk to another girl.

Don't worry, girl. I'm gonna kick Ozawa's ass, and I'll be thinking of you, I'll be thinking of SOLAR, I'll be thinking of my friend at the cafe back in Kichijoji, and I'll be thinking about the girl who died in the park.

No, dude, I don't even know what that is hardly!

It's good that there are so many people still sticking around in Shinjuku, but boy do these people just fill my mind with more and more questions every time they talk to me!

No, no, no! Not Simpson yakuza! I want to talk to normal folks again!

I bumped into a normal folk. Here's what he had to say.

Man: Man: ... The end is drawing near. The one we must rely on right now... is Lucifer. The angel who was one the most beautiful in Heaven. Lucifer descended to the earth to grant wisdom to mankind. In doing so, he incurred God's wrath. But even after that, he fights against God.

Jeez, this guy isn't normal folk. This is just an edgelord...


In my search for more people, I happened upon a strange edifice within the Shinjuku under-ground with a lot of doors to walk through and two flights of stairs to go up. Suddenly, the textures changed. This place is special somehow...

He didn't kick me out, so... sure? I walked in the big door.

Yakuza Boss: How dare these assholes run riot over my turf!? They're a pack of bastards with no honor or principles... What's gonna be left of Tokyo if they're allowed to do whatever they want?

Well... what a surprisingly level-headed yakuza boss. This guy's the most likable person in a position of authority I've bumped into thus far!

By this point, there was not much left to see in the under-ground. Except one door I hadn't gone through...

Suited Man: ... We might be able to fit two or three more people in here, though.

I had never encountered this dialog before, so it confused me at first, but in a Kojima-esque level of deceptively simple game design, it turns out this guy will let me in the door if I returned all of my demons rolling around with me so it was down to me, LUX, and LIEF.

Suited Man: Welcome.

I walked straight to the bar.

Bartender: I just wish they'd keep their little feud out of our backyard.

You're makin' sense to me, bartender. Say, how do you keep this swanky velvet-lookin' joint in business? I'm digging it.

Speaking of this swanky place, let's walk around and talk to people.

You don't! VIVA LA REVOLITION! Just watch after me!

Hey, man, I think you're giving Americans a bad rap for no good reason. No reason why I'd think to say that, though. No bias.

Oh, it's that JB guy that that other guy in the other bar told me about! I heard you can hook me up with a girl...

JB: More specifically, SOLAR. But he doesn't know what she looks like, so he's capturing all girls with her name.

Ohhhhhh, so my neighbor, LIEF's girlfriend SOLAR is not the same as the Resistance leader SOLAR? So apparently SOLAR is a really common Japanese girl's name? This makes way more sense... genuinely, for once.

Jeez, why the hell do these Japanese think that Americans are a bunch of blood-thirsty warmongers?!

Well... let's leave that question unanswered. Hopefully there are more sensible Japanese in this building.

Well, gee, I dunno, maybe you should go over to the bar where the Americans are hanging out and ask them? Talk to them, they're people! Maybe their Japanese isn't the best, but it seems like all you need is a nice conversation with an American for you to be convinced that Americans can be nice, helpful people as well!

Is this... really how other people see Americans? These people shouldn't be scared, they should be happy that the Americans are here to help out. What gives?

I walked down a flight of stairs to a lower level of the restaurant (or whatever this place is). Nobody was here, except... an American soldier! I ran up to him and tried to make him feel as welcome as possible, hoping that maybe this man could come up the stairs with me and set a good example for all the Japanese in the main room of the restaurant. These Japanese need to learn a lesson, and that lesson is that when America sticks its nose in everyone else's business, it's because America cares.

Mr. American, you have to show these people how helpful the white man can be!

... Uh...

American Soldier: Ambassador Thorman said that he would order missiles to be launched at Tokyo. That's why I ran away.

Wha... I... I... I can't... No!


To be continued!

Cap'n Jack

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Re: Jack Pschitt plays Shin Megami Tensei iOS

Post by Lief Katano on 13th May 2016, 2:54 pm

Jack you fucked up.

[spoiltext]You should've fused Pascal with a demon in the Cathedral of Shadows.[/spoiltext]

Thief Lief Katano appeared!
Please play Final Fantasy Record Keeper | RW: Ramza Soul Break: Shout (241 MND) ID: SGuM
...I'd have four gil. Which isn't a lot, but it's annoying that there's more than one of 'em.
Lief Katano

  : If I had a gil for all the fiends...

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Re: Jack Pschitt plays Shin Megami Tensei iOS

Post by Cap'n Jack on 13th May 2016, 3:57 pm

@Lief Katano wrote:Jack you fucked up.

[spoiltext]You should've fused Pascal with a demon in the Cathedral of Shadows.[/spoiltext]

I know, I forgot to do that in my first play-through, too. ;_; At least it's funnier this way.

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