As you all know, I have been recently getting over the rather tough breakup I went through over this summer with my ex-girlfriend.  In the aftermath of it all, it took her getting into a rebound relationship for me to actually get over her.  Lingering feelings still exist, but considering she's the first non-family member I've actually felt genuine love for in my life, they are obviously bound to happen.  

In the past three or so months since my breakup, I've turned into somewhat of a pimp, if you will.  I have had five girls flat out tell me to my face that they have a crush on me (two of which are freshmen, two juniors, and one senior) and I have several suspicions that others like me as well.  In general, I have been treating all of them simply as friends, as I don't have the time, the energy, or the willingness to commit myself to a relationship at this point in time.  I'm also unsure of my feelings for any or all of them.  

Back in the middle of August I mentioned in Random Ramblings that I went to this birthday party for a close swim friend of mine (there's actually interesting history with this friend in particular that took place back in 2013 during the summer before freshman year but I can save that story for another time).  There were eight of us at first, including me, when we went tubing at Watermelon Park out in the Winchester area.  That eight had narrowed down to five (also including me) by around three o'clock, and the five of us just basically hung out until midnight.  Before I got to the party at 8 AM, the only one out of the five that could call a friend was my swim friend.  By midnight, it felt like I knew these guys for years.  That day was the best day of my summer, as I made new friends that would branch out into others, creating a whole new group of friends, at a different school, separate from my main group I've known since middle school.  It came at the perfect time, too, after a long couple of months of excruciating summer schoolwork and emotional turmoil.

I hung out with that group (we affectionately dubbed ourselves the "fleek squad" bc why not) several other times before the summer was over.  It was almost like a fresh start or even a distraction from the problems occurring in my main group.  My breakup had split my main friend group in two halves, and we had a hard time getting along during the weeks of band camp.  I would constantly find myself alone in a room practicing my music, while the others in my group were all eating lunch together.  Through this time I developed a strong bond with my school's new band director, which has resulted in me becoming one of his favorite students.  I also began talking separately more and more with one of the girls from fleek squad (we'll call her G), as we shared many common interests such as marching band, politics, and music, more specifically indie music (you know us hipsters, when we find another hipster we freak out).  Over this time G and I got to know each other pretty well.

The problems occurring in my friend group boiled overboard on the first day of school, in which I realized that many of my friends from last year (some of which were close) weren't my friends anymore.  Being stubborn, angry, obstinate, and not clear-minded, I blamed this on my ex-girlfriend, as many of these friends I had gained through our relationship. (The reality of the situation was that I don't have any of these friends in my classes this year and also the fact that I didn't really talk with any of them much after June.  Over time I have been able to fix some of these friendships.) The two of us got in a fight that expanded to two other friends, and eventually resulted in a) the immediate loss of any would-be contact between my ex and I and b) the immediate loss of the trust of the two other friends that became involved.  I was very negative, borderline depressed, during this point in time.  I hated myself for what I had said and done, and I really relied on G and the rest of the fleek squad to help me through.

About a week and a half had passed and we all settled things through apologies.  The close contact between the four of us during marching band helped to alleviate the tensions, since we are all leaders in the marching band, and are forced to work together anyway. My ex and I were still kind of touchy, but again, it was bound to happen.  As the season went on, we had our first competition, which we won; it would be the only competition we would win all season. (Season's not over yet, I still have assessment on Halloween.) The first competition (and also the SRO auditions I had participated at earlier that week) really raised my morale, as I met many new people from other schools which I would see consistently throughout the marching season.  The second competition came during the weekend Hurricane Joaquin was supposed to hit.  G's band was also performing at the competition, and I was properly introduced to a bunch of her crazy band friends I had briefly met throughout the prior two months.  During an interesting turn of events involving some airgrams (another hilarious story for another time), it was revealed to me that G actually had a crush on me.  This left my mind torn for the next few weeks...

...speaking of, those didn't help much.  My best friend (his name is Alex), who had ditched me for a color guard captain en route to the second competition (whatever happened to bros before hoes, am I right? :P), invited me to join him and the rest of the color guard on their bus during the next competition weekend, which featured two competitions in one day.  That Saturday, I sat with the other guard captain (we'll call her E).  E and I had been talking to each other about Alex for the past couple of days, so we had already known each other pretty well.  Turns out she also has a crush on me.  (see?  told you I was a pimp.) Regardless though, I sat with the guard at the last competition too, they're pretty awesome and I've made a lot of new friends there.  

G was asked out to her school's homecoming by this cute guy with a fancy car.  She said yes (apparently somewhat reluctantly, but when you're put on the spot like that it's kind of hard to say no).  That was her homecoming, though; through peer pressure from the rest of fleek squad, I asked her to mine, and she said yes.  What we're doing is kind of weird though, and I'll explain it below.  I feel like this indirectly hurt E, and I feel really bad about it since she's a great person, really funny, and a good friend.

On a final note, yesterday I finally settled things once and for all with my ex.  We were trying to settle the awkwardness between us for a while, and it didn't really work, so I just basically said "okay this tiptoeing around the main point is really freaking annoying can we just be friends again" and she was like "I agree, that's basically what I was thinking" so that's good.  I dont' know if it was because she's in a new relationship or what but I'm glad I have some part of that friendship back.