Surprise! Micro Direct! I guess it's not that big of a surprise since there was an Nintendo Direct yesterday... We start off with Bill being small. Whoops. Also Bill's awesome.

New Chibi Robo game! Who's surprised? It's called Whiplash. And it's an action game! He can use his plug to attack and grab stuff. It looks like it's still timed via battery power, but you can renew it. There's an amiibo that's part of the bundle that allows you to become Super Chibi Robo! Coming out October.

New Dr. Mario game! A new item called the Miracle Cure that can do stuff like eliminate viruses in an area/of a color/in a row. In Multiplayer mode, at least, you can trigger Miracle Cures on and off. (Obviously, in Multiplayer, Miracle Cures can also mess with opponents. Not so Miracle Curey then, though...) Dr. Luigi and his L-shaped capsules also return. This comes out on June 11.

Pokémon Super Mystery Dungeon! You suddenly become a Pokémon...and Pokémon are turning into stone?! :O (For the save-the-world guy in me, it manages to appeal to be more than all of the Pokémon just becoming >:(; this at least feels like there's something at stake, while people being jerks...isn't that new.) As confirmed before, all 720 Pokémon are in the game. You can also choose from 20 Pokémon to play as/be your partner. (This means that Riolu and Pikachu are, in fact, the only non-starter Pokémon to choose from.) It's coming in the Winter.

Mario and Sonic are coming to the Rio 2016 Olympic Winter games! ...wait a second, isn't it a little too early for that?! It's in Rio. Some new sports are soccer (or, er, football, as Bill pointed out), rugby, and golf. Rugby's only in the Wii U version, while golf's only in the 3DS version. To answer Bill, I'd wager Mario has a longer drive than Sonic; he's been playing golf longer.

Oh! And Splatoon gets the NES Zapper. It has rapid-fire, great ink efficiency, and charges the echolocator special weapon up quickly. Someone who actually plays Splatoon probably knows that that all means more. :U It comes with Splat Bombs. Also, new map! When does this come out? 7 PM, Pacific Time. (Luma Time?) Ranked Battles will also be integrated at that time, due to the large amount of people hitting Level 10.

New Art Academy game! Expands your art tools. And you can upload time-lapse video of you drawing it. It launches on June 25, but you can pre-download it now. (You can't play it, though.)

Now you can look at Project Treasure stuff on Nintendo's YouTube channel! ...that's it.

Nintendo World Championships info! Except not. They start on June 14, 3:00 PM Pacific Time.

Little Battler Experience. It's already an anime/toythingy. You customize robot things and then start beating people up. Standard fare. Ironically enough, Lux dreamed about cardboard, but the robots battle in terrains made out of...fortified cardboard. :U (That probably isn't irony.) Also they're saving the world from jerks who, for whatever reason, are using the same things that children battle with. Standard fair, really. (I can only justify this with Pokémon.) It comes out in August 21.

Update on Puzzle and Dragons! Mostly the Super Mario Bros. Side. Surprising approximately no one, unless you haven't played a recent Mario game (recent being Super Mario World, or even The Lost Levels), there are bonus worlds after you beat the game. More player characters, like Rosalina, Peach, Bowser, Bowser Jr., and the Koopalings. Signified by Lemmy, which is a damn shame, because Ludwig has an awesome 'do. Z also has internet distributions coming out, including one online right now. Also, unlockable content. This is, of course, available now.

Bravely Second is coming west! I don't doubt that this news was meant to replace the Dragon Quest VIII remake, but I'll get into my hatred of SE later. Agnes is kidnapped, you're a knight guy who has to save her. It's coming 2016.

Aaaaand that's it, besides some Bill abuse. Noooo, Billllll.